Isolation: A problem greater than the pandemic.

Author: Amy Flores

There has never been a time in human history when it was good for man to be alone, even before the fall. As image bearers of our triune God, relationships are fundamental to what it means to be human.

Consider the documented cases of children being raised by wild animals. Probably the best known story of feral children is that of two girls, Amala and Kamala, who were raised by a she-wolf. You don't want this kind of life.

After being rescued and returned to society, many never learn to speak, and most experience social deficiencies to varying degrees. How many have seen the movie, "The Jungle Book"? We all remember Mowgli, don't we?

God designed babies to need constant interaction with their parents to develop properly, and this need for human interaction is something that is never outgrown. This is why isolation is considered such a cruel form of punishment.

Although these extreme examples of isolation are rare for most of humanity, only a minority of people experience community and relationships to the extent that God intended. The isolation brought on by the recent pandemic has only added fuel to what was already a smoldering fire.

We remove the sick from their communities and place them in hospitals with extreme restrictions on visitation and this will only exacerbate this isolation. Pastors have also fallen into this isolation because they have enslaved themselves to fear.

The pastor's calling is unique and carries a lot of responsibility. The good shepherd is more than willing to lay down his life for his sheep, just as Christ did for His church. However, many today do not accept this challenge. Many prefer to isolate themselves and take care of their own skin, before taking care of the sheep.

Brothers, isolation is an epidemic greater than the pandemic in which we find ourselves and far more dangerous!

For some, this estrangement is a daily agony that makes even the sweetest moments of life unsatisfying. Others easily settle for superficial relationships that allow them to meet many people, but without really being known by anyone.

Some welcome isolation as a friend and protector, while others see it as their greatest enemy. These two scenarios describe many of our brothers and sisters in Christ. But within the body of Christ lies the hope of deeper relationships that center on our intimate union with Jesus Christ.

Whether you are a pastor, counselor, spouse or friend, perhaps you know people who suffer from isolation. Or perhaps isolation is a deep source of pain and longing in your own life. It can be difficult to know how Jesus and his body can minister to us in this area.

With this in mind, let's look again at what scripture says about isolation in the book of Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 reads, “Two are better than one; for they have a better reward for their labor."

Scripture emphasizes the obvious benefits of companionship. Intimacy and the sharing of life alleviate the problem of isolation and loneliness. The "two" does not speak only of a couple, such as a marriage, but of a relationship between people.

Through Ecclesiastes 4:9, God tells us that it is better not to be a loner. Some people are antisocial and want to live alone. Some move to the country and keep to themselves. Others want to do everything without anyone's help. Some people don't want to be with people. They have no friends or avoid their neighbors. But God warns us in this passage that this is not wise.

That's why, from Ecclesiastes 4:9, God says that two people are more productive than one. Most people understand that to be true. In verse 10, we are told that, if one of us falls, the other can help him. The one who does not have someone who can help him, the Bible says, "Woe to the LONE ONE".

Ecclesiastes 4:12 reads, "And if a man prevail against one, two shall withstand him; and a cord of three folds is not quickly broken."

It is to our benefit to have each other. As the Bible says, two people can resist someone very powerful, something that cannot be done alone; and even better are three people together. A partner can offer assistance, comfort and defense.

All this may seem obvious to many, but yet how many people don't want help? How many people live alone? How many work alone? Some work alone perhaps because they want all the honor. How many men and women have never married because they don't want to have to live with another person? Wisdom says that two are better than one and in a difficult situation three are even better.

Do you find yourself walking alone in this life? You can be surrounded by many and at the same time have no one. There are two types of isolation to avoid in your life.

WELCOMED ISOLATION

In our society we settle for online relationships and texting because we value convenience and efficiency over genuine communion and meaningful connection with others that requires the sacrifice of our time and energy. This false experience of relationships causes many to settle for something far less than what God created us for.

What is behind this relational neglect? How does God's Word speak to the heart of one who willfully isolates himself?

Proverbs 18:1 reads, "Whoever isolates himself pursues selfish ends; he resists all sound advice. "

This reveals the motivation and consequence of voluntary isolation. We isolate ourselves primarily because of selfish desires for comfort, protection and self-rule. In a world where you are accountable to no one, you are free to do what you want, when you want.

You don't have to answer for how you spend your time or your money. You don't have to work on the unruly parts of your heart and mind. In short, isolation, for many, is comfortable. And instead of challenging this false comfort, our churches often respond to this lifestyle with approval. And the pastors are very much to blame for this kind of thinking.

When was the last time you received a faithful wound from a church friend? Do others know how you struggle to love your family, manage your resources, and deal with the suffering and stresses of life? More importantly, if they do know, do they have a way of contacting you? Are they able to follow the progress of your life?

Or, conversely, do most people in your church only know your favorite sports team, perhaps your favorite theologian or pastor, and how the latest renovations on your house are going?

This is a dangerous situation for the believer. It paints a deceptive picture in which others fully approve of our lives because they don't know enough to challenge us. The result is the facade of a mediocre Christian life.

A major motivation for fostered isolation is protection. But authentic relationships require vulnerability. Experiencing friendship as God intended requires giving others the power to hurt us. That is why we must choose our friends well. Listen to God's word that says in,

Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful”

Although there are trustworthy people in our churches, many are not willing to expose themselves to be truly known by anyone. But without risk, there is no reward.

What does someone living in welcome isolation need? He needs to be reunited to the body of God, no longer suffering alone. When we are united to Christ, we are also united to his body.

Just as a complex machine cannot function properly unless each of its parts is functioning properly, so Paul says that only when each part of Christ's body is functioning properly can the body "grow up to be built up in love" (Ephesians 4:16). (Ephesians 4:16).

Dale Carnegie an American writer said the following, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Let us seek to be friends. Secondly, there is the...

UNWELCOMED ISOLATION

Other brothers and sisters in Christ are desperate for human connection. Loneliness constantly assaults their sense of worth and identity. While many live for the weekends, some dread the loneliness of another Friday night spent alone at home. But isolation is not only felt by singles; married men and women can also experience profound loneliness.

Many come to marriage expecting to spend most nights in deep connection with their spouse, only to experience the disappointment of living with a spouse who might best be defined as a roommate.

Loneliness, like any suffering, can be an open door to temptation. We find it hard to wait on the Lord and bring our suffering to him. Instead, we run to self-sufficient solutions that typically lead us away from God, when it is He who makes light of our burden. We walk in our faith instead of running to the giver of faith.

This can have dangerous consequences. It can be a co-dependent relationship, which may or may not become sexual.

How can you minister the love of Christ to someone in your life or church who struggles with isolation? The isolated need your time. They need fellowship. They need you to welcome them into your community, family, and most importantly your church. They are part of the body of Christ, which means you need them too.

CONCLUSION:

Sisters and brothers, remember that pastors, in addition to being leaders, are human.

You are also part of the Body of Christ, and you need to be connected in meaningful relationships with others. Like anyone else in your congregation, you need others in your walk with God.

Therefore, it is vital that you: befriend your pastor; seriously embrace the call of friendship.

Romans 12:4-6

“For as we have many members in one body, but all members have not the same function, 5 even so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us use them according to the proportion of faith.”

So Solomon is not only providing principles about marriage, but he is providing principles about life in general. About relationships with the body of God and their unity and fellowship in general.

Every husband, every wife, every child, every widower, every parent, in the body of Christ has been appointed by our Lord to serve in his body. The unity of the brethren in the body of Christ is the solution to isolation and loneliness.